[Click to enlarge. Unless your eyesight is incredibly good.If you can read that without enlarging you're most likely a monster.]
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Wake Up
This is easily the worst thing to stare at after you roll out of bed and turn your computer on.
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Alien Spiders
Woke up at 6.30am this morning thanks to a horrific dream that consisted of a giant spider dropping through a hole in the lounge ceiling and proceeding to kill my whole family in alphabetical order.
Snot Factory
I had a mock exam today, so it was important I could put my full attention into what I was doing. Unfortunately, my nose prevented me from doing this. I produced more snot in an hour during that exam than a cow produces milk in a year.
There's a high chance I pissed off most of the class with my sniffling, and I left the room with tissue particles welded to my jumper which, rather annoyingly, was black.
There's a high chance I pissed off most of the class with my sniffling, and I left the room with tissue particles welded to my jumper which, rather annoyingly, was black.
Friday, 14 May 2010
Visitor Review - Tim Cade
Many thanks to Time Cade for his delightful take on The Morgan Chronicles:
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It is not often that one becomes so bored that they consider brutal mutilation of oneself with a small and very blunt pencil, which would be rammed constantly against ones own temple until it, or your skull cracks and your last hours of misery end with you slumped over the computer – the eternal bark produced by your machine as you head rests against the keys as it plays you off into the dark valleys.
That however is what the unwitting Internet surfer is faced with when exploring the endless amounts of blogs that confront them in World Wide Web. Bloggers; a race confined to soiled chairs , where their chubby fingers, wallowed in the stench of grease and fat stumble aimlessly, like the eternal drunk across their keyboard in an irremediable attempt at constructing a sentence worth any perception.
The Morgan Chronicles is such a blog. The writer, or should I say the conductor of this shambolic keyboard march is the impetuous Tom Morgan. A member of the imbecilic masses he adopts a moronic stance on topical news, raping it of its value and repackaging it as material so senseless it is laughable.
Take a recent ‘news story’, one which reflects the utter insensateness and pathetic perspicacity the conductor has on current affairs. An article written at 13:41 on May 7th illustrates brilliantly the author’s stupidity in even his own affairs. “Unfortunately, I haven't been able to vote because my voting slip wasn't posted to me” was a quote from such article. I offer my complete condolences, providing his mind can swallow such a word because supposedly not being able to exercise his right to vote is a sad thing. I will also go as far to say that I ‘recognise’ a statement at the end of one paragraph “I think the problem with the voting system is that too many people make uninformed decisions” to be one of validity. Yes Tom, too few people do understand the voting system and make uniformed decisions, one of them being yourself. It is no requirement that you bring your poll card to the polling station it just speeds up the process. As long as you applied and are recognised on the list then you can vote – no need for a polling card. As you brilliantly put it : "Point proven, I think"
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Remember, if you want to submit a chronicles review simply send it to me via E-mail at sharkbait92@hotmail.com - Remember, the reviews submitted have to be negative and humorous. Get writing, folks!
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It is not often that one becomes so bored that they consider brutal mutilation of oneself with a small and very blunt pencil, which would be rammed constantly against ones own temple until it, or your skull cracks and your last hours of misery end with you slumped over the computer – the eternal bark produced by your machine as you head rests against the keys as it plays you off into the dark valleys.
That however is what the unwitting Internet surfer is faced with when exploring the endless amounts of blogs that confront them in World Wide Web. Bloggers; a race confined to soiled chairs , where their chubby fingers, wallowed in the stench of grease and fat stumble aimlessly, like the eternal drunk across their keyboard in an irremediable attempt at constructing a sentence worth any perception.
The Morgan Chronicles is such a blog. The writer, or should I say the conductor of this shambolic keyboard march is the impetuous Tom Morgan. A member of the imbecilic masses he adopts a moronic stance on topical news, raping it of its value and repackaging it as material so senseless it is laughable.
Take a recent ‘news story’, one which reflects the utter insensateness and pathetic perspicacity the conductor has on current affairs. An article written at 13:41 on May 7th illustrates brilliantly the author’s stupidity in even his own affairs. “Unfortunately, I haven't been able to vote because my voting slip wasn't posted to me” was a quote from such article. I offer my complete condolences, providing his mind can swallow such a word because supposedly not being able to exercise his right to vote is a sad thing. I will also go as far to say that I ‘recognise’ a statement at the end of one paragraph “I think the problem with the voting system is that too many people make uninformed decisions” to be one of validity. Yes Tom, too few people do understand the voting system and make uniformed decisions, one of them being yourself. It is no requirement that you bring your poll card to the polling station it just speeds up the process. As long as you applied and are recognised on the list then you can vote – no need for a polling card. As you brilliantly put it : "Point proven, I think"
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Remember, if you want to submit a chronicles review simply send it to me via E-mail at sharkbait92@hotmail.com - Remember, the reviews submitted have to be negative and humorous. Get writing, folks!
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Cameron becomes the new British Prime Minister!
Gordon Brown has stepped down as Prime Minister as David Cameron has taken over. I really don't envy Cameron here. Running Britain must be a tough job. I can't even run a squad on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.
Undoubtedly this is going to be a particularly influential moment for Britain in terms of its future. However, one cannot deny how outrageous of David Cameron it was to postpone tonight's episode of Eastenders to address the nation. It seems Facebook agrees:
Facebook Group 1 - "Yay Eastenders is on! Only joking, the prime minister's resigned" - Members: 40,000+
Facebook Group 2 - "David Cameron forgot to apologise for postponing Eastenders!" - Members: 2000+
Undoubtedly this is going to be a particularly influential moment for Britain in terms of its future. However, one cannot deny how outrageous of David Cameron it was to postpone tonight's episode of Eastenders to address the nation. It seems Facebook agrees:
Facebook Group 1 - "Yay Eastenders is on! Only joking, the prime minister's resigned" - Members: 40,000+
Facebook Group 2 - "David Cameron forgot to apologise for postponing Eastenders!" - Members: 2000+
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Election Sleep
I'm going to sleep now. It's 00:07am of the day that the election results will be revealed. Pretty much all the major news channels (e.g. BBC, ITV, Sky, Channel 4) are covering the event and, as interesting as it's becoming, the constant onslaught of numerical charts and ever-changing figures are sending me to sleep.
Apparently there are storys appearing of people being turned away from polling stations because of an unexpected amount of voters and perhaps a lack of preperation from local authoritiess preparing the stations too.
It's an odd thought to think that when I wake up there might be (it's looking likely) a new power running Britain.
Nighty night.
Apparently there are storys appearing of people being turned away from polling stations because of an unexpected amount of voters and perhaps a lack of preperation from local authoritiess preparing the stations too.
It's an odd thought to think that when I wake up there might be (it's looking likely) a new power running Britain.
Nighty night.
The Elections
The elections have become a massive talking point in the media recently, and it makes sense that I document today so I can look back at this blog post and go "Ah yes, the day ____ won the election. How memorable." Today, the voting began and later this evening / in the early hours of tomorrow morning it'll be revealed who has won the election. The main runners are of course The Liberal Democrats, Labour, and The Conservatives.
Unfortunately, I haven't been able to vote because my voting slip wasn't posted to me. Clearly, my opinion means nothing.
To be honest, I'm not terribly gutted not to be voting. Sure; it would be nice to have an impact on a day that'll most likely prove to be extremely influential to Britain, but I don't like the idea of voting without knowing a significant amount about each party and working out who to vote for through looking at that policies. I think the problem with the voting system is that too many people make uninformed decisions.
Somebody at college today said they were voting Liberal Democrats because they thought Nick Clegg's tie looked nice when he appeared on the live television debate last week. Point proven, I think.
Saturday, 1 May 2010
Nerdy Excitement - Part 2
Turns out my Just Cause 2 video reached another gaming website! This time the article's written in English. you can check out the link below:
http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2010/04/28/crazy-insane-just-cause-2-stunts/
Click the picture for a closer look
Again, the article takes the form of a collection / list of stunts uploaded to Youtube, but it feels great to get a mention! I particularly like the caption they use to go with my video:
'Sure,you could survive that'.
Click the picture for a closer look
Comedy gold, Unreality Magazine, comedy gold.
Nerdy Excitement
As a nerd, it takes very little to excite me. Recently, I uploaded a video of myself crashing a car on a game called 'Just Cause 2', an experience essentially consisting of blowing things up and shooting terrorists and ninjas with various equipment you buy out of the back of some old guys jeep.
About 30 minutes after uploading the video, I was surprised to see that I'd managed to clock over 3000 videos views in a couple of hours. I used the YouTube 'Insight' feature to find out where all this Internet traffic was coming from.
Click the picture for a closer look
Turns out my video's featured on a German gaming website as the bottom of the page, in an article on Just Cause 2! Check out the link below for the full article:
From my extensive knowledge of the German language (not.) I've gathered that it's some kind of 'Top 10 things to do in Just Cause' list. My stunt's under page 7. I'm famous in Deutschland, yo! From the homepage of the German gaming website, I clicked this banner to take me to my video.
Click the picture for a closer look
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