"You like, yes?"

Today was an interesting afternoon. Ok, I'll set the scene. I'm home alone. So I hear a knock on the door, and I go to investigate. I open the door, and a man stares back at me, eyes as large as a rabbit about to be hit by a car. He says to me, "You like fish?". In my head I say to myself, "No you don't Tom. You hate fish. You haven't had fish in years. Unless this guy is flogging Captain Birdseye products the chances are you aren't going to be interested in what he has to sell". Out loud I reply, "Yes - I love fish". That was mistake number 1.

So I'm then led to the back of his white van, with the driver of the van modelling a white stained shirt. The van doors are flung open, and the horrible smell of fish floats up my nostrils. I tried to remain interested in the fish the whole time, as the man showed me a crate of prawns, cuttlefish, and salmon, whilst ensuring he explained as much as possible about each crate. In an attempt to make sure I looked interested in what my new fishy friend was saying, I jotted down the telephone number of the company, said thank you, and walked back into the house. I threw the number in the bin.